Denial

“The five stages of grief”, developed by the Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying”, is one of the most well-known analytical frameworks of modern psychology. Based on Kübler-Ross’ comprehensive fieldwork on terminally ill patients, the model originally aimed to understand how people cope with death, and not grief per […]

Homeless

It doesn’t feel like anything else. I feel like someone who has been unconscious for years and has suddenly woken up to another reality, another world I am unfamiliar with. As everything else is so new, so alien – and since I cannot remember the past – I don’t now know what to do, or […]

Our big little man

The roller-coaster that we call our life has presented us with a few surprises since we last posted here. Slowly, but resolutely, Luca recovered from his first chemo and even managed to receive a second, reduced, dose without suffering much. As we were preparing to head off to Barcelona to start the immunotherapy, we got […]

“Pain is just is”

I wanted to write about “pain” for some time now, both physical and emotional pain, but it was not the right time for it. I wasn’t inspired or perhaps I didn’t have enough experience of pain to write about it It is somewhat odd for me to say this aloud as I firmly believed until […]

A love like no others

A dark hospital room illuminated only by the dim light emanating from the IV drip he is attached to day and night, the silence interrupted by the odd beeping of the machines when the quiet flow of the “toxic cure” is blocked. A frail, pain-stricken body tossing and turning in bed restlessly, hugging a brown […]

“Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.”

You may write me down in history With your bitter, twisted lies, You may tread me in the very dirt But still, like dust, I’ll rise. Does my sassiness upset you? Why are you beset with gloom? ‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells Pumping in my living room. Just like moons and like […]

A life like no other (in pictures)

When you are attached to IV pumps which release the “toxic cure”, and you feel nauseous and weary… There is not much to do other than playing Minecraft on i-pad or building legos… You eat whatever you find, hoping that he “eats” too while empty cups and plates are staring at you… You feel blessed […]

In silence, poetry (re)unites…

2. the truth – don’t they say? – is painful  and needs, you know, your blood  needs your wounds  only through these will the life you sought in vain pass – if it ever does pass through –  together with the wind’s whistling and ghosts To the one stranded on an island, sharing a […]

On Swedishness, stoicism and drama queens

Stoic, n. and adj. “One who practises repression of emotion, indifference to pleasure or pain, and patient endurance”… Drama queen, n., “A person who overreacts to a minor setback or who is prone to exaggeratedly dramatic behaviour; (also) a person who thrives on being the centre of attention.” The way they are defined by Oxford […]

Day of reckoning

We have a virtual family. The neuroblastoma parents. A closed group on Facebook with over 3000 members. All sharing the same predicament. Suffering from the same ordeal. Asking questions, trying to learn from each other’s experiences, getting advice; sometimes just venting out their frustrations with the “normals”. These are some of the things we, as […]